Now, For the TV Remote
by Twilight Scribe
Summary: A simple request on Naruto's part leads Neji to discover an unorthodox, yet very convenient, use for the byakugan.


Disclaimer: Another disclaimer? What a drag... Don't own anything, okay?

AN: This is set slightly after the Chunin exams and the invasion of Konoha, before Itachi shows up. Basically, the time when life in the village is somewhat... Well, not normal, but less hectic. At this time Neji is not yet fully a nice guy (though he's on his way), but is personality is becoming less fatalistic and he finds Naruto somewhat tolerable, though still annoying.

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On the cheerful, color-splashed streets of Konoha two ninja faced each other, trying to sort out a matter of the greatest urgency.

"What do you mean you're not going to help?!" Pure frustration was etched across Naruto's face, present in his tense stance, and suffusing every crevice of his mind. At the moment, there was nothing he despised more than that self-important smirk every Hyuga (except Hinata) seemed to share, and he was, as usual, absolutely horrible at concealing his emotions.

All Naruto did was ask for a tiny favor. He didn't deserve the you-are-the-scum-of-the-earth sneer Neji gave him, not at all.

"Be quiet Naruto. You're making a scene." Those words, the same ones spoken so often by Sasuke and Sakura and everyone else, took on an entirely different life when coming from Neji's mouth. The cool, imperious disdain was an entirely different beast from the short-tempered annoyance Naruto was accustomed to. He had thought that, thanks to his lifetime of practice, he was able to shrug off any cruelty thrown at him, to shoulder any adversity life heaped on him; but the new form of uncalled for disrespect, from a shinobi he defeated before no less, wove around Naruto's defenses and hit him hard. Neji's words were bellows, stoking am already raging fire.

That's not to say they weren't true. The two genin, shouting at each other in the middle of a busy street, were turning heads and slowly attracting a crowd. For every shinobi in the village, there were many more civilians who were itching to see some spectacular ninja combat; especially if the two fighting were Neji Hyuga and Naruto Uzumaki, the genin who put on such an amazing display during the chunin exams. If they kept this up they would block traffic entirely, not that Naruto cared, Neji had gone too far.

"You stuck up-! Why do you have to act so damn superior all the time? What makes you any better than the rest of us, huh?! You're nothing but a- a- Grr, Neji, you jerk!" The slur had a very strange effect, completely opposite from the reaction Naruto was expecting. Instead of getting mad, Neji smiled. His glare morphed into a wry grin. Cynical, yet amused.

"Do you always insult people when you're asking them for help, Naruto?"

Check and mate. Irritating as Neji's ego was, Naruto really needed help; and if he wanted to get it, he would have to keep Neji happy. The smirk on Neji's face was his subtle way of saying "I've almost run out of patience, this is your last chance." Faced with the unspoken warning, Naruto knew what he would have to do. It would hurt, but unless he wanted to spend the night sleeping on the street, he would have to swallow his pride for a minute and be... Nice.

"Come on Neji, please? I really need to get into my apartment. It wouldn't take that long..."

Now that was something new. Neji could hardly believe the genin standing in front of him, shoulders slumped and looking pathetic, was the same Naruto who, not moments ago, had been furiously ranting at the top of his lungs. The change was unsettling, it just seemed wrong, but Neji refused to let it distract him.

"It's not my fault you lost your keys, Naruto; and there's no way I would waste energy using my byakugan to help you find them. I have more important things to deal with."

Silence. From Neji who had said his piece, from the crowd who shifted uneasily in their places, and from Naruto who stood stock still, head bowed. Though he did nothing but stare at the ground, the waves of chakra pouring off the demonic genin were more than enough to convey Naruto's burning desire to rip Neji limb from limb. He lifted his head just enough to keep his eyes hidden in the shade of his spiky bangs, a very dramatic effect that sent the townsfolk inching back away from the ninja. They were beginning to wonder if seeing spectacular ninja combat was really such a good idea. Naruto spoke in a low, disgusted voice, though it was actually more of a growl.

"Neji... I know we're not friends or anything, but I thought you'd at least have the decency to give me a hand!" His growl turned into a shout as he snapped his head up to lock eyes with Neji. After a few seconds of intense glaring, Naruto spun on his heel and stomped off down the street in the direction of the nearest training area. The crowd of spectators parted for the fuming genin who was, at the moment, screaming back over his shoulder. "Fine! I'll go see if Hinata will help me. She's actually got some compassion!"

Neji watched Naruto go with stony indifference, carefully weighing his options. Though he wasn't usually one to second-guess his decisions, he had to admit the situation had changed. It was no longer a question of whether or not to use his byakugan. With Naruto's back to him, Neji could see something blue and frog-shaped protruding from the top of Naruto's back pocket in stark contrast with the rest of his bright orange attire. All that mattered now was that he could help Naruto, but did he want to? It would be easy and, while he didn't feel full to bursting with Good Samaritan zeal, what would it hurt to be nice for once? Besides, if Naruto asked Lady Hinata to use her byakugan she would likely injure herself somehow...

Having made up his mind, Neji took a breath and called out, glad that he wouldn't have to shout to be heard.

"Naruto!"

The ninja in question whipped around. He was still livid, but now he was livid and just a little puzzled as well. That didn't keep him from yelling though.

"Yeah?! What?!"

Neji didn't preface his message with "Dear kami, I can't believe I'm doing this," but the sentiment was clearly there in his tone.

"Your keys... Do you keep them on a frog keychain?" Naruto nodded, becoming more confused by the second. "In that case, your keys are in your back, right pocket."

"Really?"

For the second time, Neji was astounded by the change that came over Naruto. He instantly began to brighten up, all the rage and confusion of the last few minutes melting away into a hopeful, almost naive expression of trust. An expression that quickly shifted again, into a look of shocked surprise, then a gigantic grin that barely fit on Naruto's face when he reached into his pocket and pulled out a heavy-duty brass key on a huge wooden keychain carved in the shape of a toad.

"All right! Thanks Neji, I owe you one!" This was all shouted exuberantly as Naruto leapt about, celebrating the discovery of the key to his apartment, then dashed off down the street, headed for home and waving back over his shoulder, laughing joyously and grinning like an idiot the entire way.

With the matter resolved, the crowd began to disperse, but Neji stayed right where he was, watching as his fellow genin ran home and made a fool of himself. He waited until Naruto was out of sight before shaking his head sadly and making his own way home.

_'Everything that just happened, was all because Naruto didn't bother to check his pockets. He really is a knucklehead ninja...'_

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AN: You know what else the byakugan would be useful for? Finding spare change and other stuff lost in the couch cushions. Yeah.

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End file.
